An Experience; Albeit Bad

Again, I appear to be ignoring my blog. This is highly unnerving, knowing I have a blog and a handful few readers of whom I can possibly count on my fingers to entertain. But really, what with assignments and work to settle with, life gets a little out of control. So I'm beginning to believe my cousin just that LITTLE bit when he mentioned how much he loves his bed now that he is working. Maybe I'll have thoughts like him when I'm doing my internship (which is by the way in a few months' time and I have yet to prepare my depressingly short resume...) but for now I am still pretty inclined to get out of the house. Can't believe I've hit the second decade to my life yet I am not as matured as people assume I should be. I speak to soft toys. Yes. That was an uncalled for moment.

Getting back to the title of my post just before I side track a little off rail. I'd make a bad train driver. Last night was my class' event in collaboration with a little Italian restaurant called Aria in Damansara Heights. Truth be told, I had sleepless nights thinking of it because it was quarter the fact that it was going to be graded, another quarter that all my friends have really worked hard for this and finally HALF the fact that I'd be meeting so many big shot bloggers. Where does a tiny "no-name" like me stand? In my mind, I kept telling myself how the whole class put effort in it and we should really have our heart and soul to treat the bloggers who attended the event last night.

Yes, we had a Bloggers' Night for food bloggers to come by and to kick off the Pizza Fest event for Aria. I'll post up links of the bloggers as soon as we get them ourselves. So far I know Merryn has written about it in her blog. I'm so sorry I'm only connected to so many people. Like I said; a tiny no name. It was a fun night, to be honest, having so many people around coming to an event that everyone in the class has spent money, time and effort on. Of course, then there's that stupid part in me thinking I really should have been talking more instead of hiding behind my non-existent photography skill. And no, it really doesn't help with my self esteem seeing how all my pictures were either out of focus, blur or dark. Truly, I do not belong in such a place. I should stick to taking instant editing pictures on my S3. (Ha! Yes, I got the S3!)

Coming home, I realized how much I wished that I had done more during the night. Like how I should have spoke to more people, mingled a little or just did SOMETHING than just pretending to take professional photographs and smiling like a fool. And then I hugged my stuffed toy and went to sleep. Smug as it seems, I was comforting myself all day long today telling myself that I DID try and that the bloggers DID enjoy themselves although I wasn't even sure of that. As a blogger myself, I felt uncomfortable and out of place and it just made me wonder if the bloggers of the night felt the same. Yes, I have an active mind that brings me to a whole lot of thoughts. Don't sue me, love me.

Nevertheless it was an experience overall and babbling about it now just doesn't bring me back to that very moment. But maybe from this moment onwards I'd be a lot more appreciative toward event companies that invites me to their launches. "You're a guest but you were once an organizer albeit a fairly bad one," I should tell myself. Oh, and maybe I shouldn't be expecting whining when I get a goodie bag next time. Seriously. I couldn't even practice my, "Hi, I'm Elie" routine last night. Tongue tied; absolutely.