I wanna hold your hand

It's been a week now,Cantus Lupus. That Monday that my father told me you had a stroke. And that Tuesday that I told him I was too busy in class to listen. I couldn't pay attention. My mind doesn't work two ways. When classes ended and I called him back, I was honestly unprepared. What he told me sent me down to tears and it broke down all my defences. Did you really leave? Was he pulling my leg? Are you simply taking a break or were you eternally gone?

Dearest Cantus Lupus...why is it I've never appreciated all you had done then? Why is it that now you have left, these memories return to me and pull me down to cry and mourn? Why is it we as humans take things for granted? Why is it we never think back of the good and only hold on to the bad? Is this our greed? Is this our human nature?

There is a line in the song played by The Band Perry called If I Die Young that goes like this:

"Funny when you're dead how people start listenin"

It's funny how I never knew you were in the mass communication line. Honestly, I didn't even know what you did for a living. All I remember of you is that you were a tall, great and big man. All that I remember is that you never drove and you had a crazy deep voice. All that I remember is that you gave my father CDs time and time again. I wouldn't have known what rock was nor would I have known what metal was. Music taste is relative. One would wonder.

Rest in peace, dearest Cantus Lupus. You were great. No. You ARE great. Because I believe in you even though you're gone. In fact I want to believe that you haven't even GONE. You have just travelled somewhere new. Somewhere special. And somewhere amazing. And you're spinning your vinyls and CDs right there. That's who you really are. And that's how I remember you.

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