Days since my last post: 8

If there was something I could never get over, it was death. It was the thought of a passing and a live well lived, or not. From the beginning of time when I started Cantuslupus till today, I have never stopped sharing my thoughts on how unjust and unfair death felt, especially when they are dear to me. But somehow it sparked...what if it were better for them? That they were free from suffering and pain, and that freedom was all they have now.

And so in August, I said goodbye to 3 people who were in some ways dear to me. 3 a matter of 2 weeks. It felt like heaven was gaining amazing people, one by one. It was difficult for me, because I cried dry tears but perhaps harder for the ones who were even closer. The aching was real and the memories of each were vivid, almost like it only happened yesterday when we shared a smile together.

But maybe, this should be my path to closure. To realizing that a goodbye really isn't forever.

Patrick Ang
12.02.1955 - 06.08.2015

So goodbye, Uncle Patrick. And thank you, for your lessons on how to be a good friend to another. For teaching me that moments are meant to be cherished, and that days however numbered should be lived out. You have fought a good fight and for that, you are a warrior. Your gentle smiles, your kind words, your generous character instilled, they simply linger. So cheers, until we meet again.

Suhana Ab. Kadir
14.07.1979 - 18.08.2015

And goodbye, Sue. My lecturer. My advisor. My friend. Our days were short, our memories were not of abundance. But I remember most of how you took me in your arms as I cried over the passing of my grandfather 4 years ago. I remember when you held my hands and told me to believe in myself and my (then) significant other. That life was still a long way ahead for me. That nothing today was certain. And that someday, I will succeed as long as I put my heart into it. I will miss your sarcasm, I will miss your smiles and your voice but most of all, I will miss the days I could scream your name and hug you tight.

Because life, is all about closure. And this is mine, to the ones who matter.
Days since my last post: 12

Hello, hello! Feels like it has been a while since I've done a movie review, with the last being in September last year. So here's a post I plotted in my head since the moment I left the cinema dedicated to the movie...


Truth be told, I had not expected much from the movie because I personally had no idea it was coming out. I'm guessing publicity was scarce or that I'm just not nearly as updated on things. But when your best friend says that he would die to watch this movie, you simply follow through.
Newly released in Malaysia on the 6th of August, Southpaw stars none other than Jake Gyllenhaal, Forest Whitaker and Oona Laurence. They star studded cast also included Rachel McAdams, 50 Cent, and Miguel Gomez, with a special mention of Skylan Brooks. No prizes for guessing but Southpaw is definitely centered with boxing but is also stabbed with emotional rides, inspirational fights and a bit of light hearted laughs. 

Jake Gyllenhaal is Billy Hope

Talk about a load of yum because Jake Gyllenhaal is topless for about three quarters of the movie. Playing the lead of Billy Hope, Gyllenhaal brings out a performance that just makes you pity him for his decisions and the wrongs he has done. You feel for the remorse in him, you feel for the hopelessness in him and you will definitely feel for the love he had for his wife Maureen (McAdams) inside of him. While I wish he didn't slur as much in this 124 minute movie, it did resonate well to the character he played. The emotions were raw, they felt real and Gyllenhaal nailed it right down to the core. 

Oona Laurence plays Leila Hope

As it turns out, Laurence isn't too new but perhaps she hasn't found her breakthrough either. In Southpaw, she plays Gyllenhaal's daughter called Leila Hope. And right now, I'm not finding any child actress who could fit the bill better. She's sassy, she's sad and she's got every other face feature you could be demanding for in Southpaw. I loved her so much, especially given how much she made me cry through the movie. Oh, haven't I mentioned on the emotional ride the movie brings you on? Well there you go.

Forest Whitaker as Tick Wills

Just when you think there aren't many weird names to go around, there is Whitaker who plays Tick Wills. His role here is simple. Run a gym, pick Gyllenhaal up and make him win. But Whitaker goes a little further than that, giving Southpaw the much needed comedic relief at tense moments. Maybe I've seen one too many of his movies so Whitaker doesn't exactly shine in Southpaw but he's bearable. It could be in the nature of his character too, which would then make him highly apt to the act. But who would know, really?
Watch it, just watch it! 
Southpaw: To watch or not? I would give you three thumbs up if I could but please for the love of boxing, watch it. I've never sat in a cinema watching a movie and feeling frustrated, emotional, happy, excited and angry all at once. Never, until Southpaw. The movie obviously sent me into tears too as I shamelessly wiped away the tears that fell and I had to hide my urges to cuss at the characters that made me grind my teeth.
I'll even throw in an 8/10 on my personal movie scale, ranking in one of my top enjoyed movies in the recent days. I may have had second thoughts on Southpaw before I purchased my tickets, but it was money well spent to see the action on big screen. 
Days since my last post: 8

What's up, sunshine? It's now August and we're just months away from the big day! That's my birthday in question, just so you know. So another month has come and gone, only for me to realize that I haven't been doing updates on life. I mean, when did I become this boring?


Has been fantastic. Well maybe fantastic is too big a word to use but it's bearable and with it comes little challenges but nothing I can't handle. I also got my fringe back again, after a subtle persuasion to my mother who gladly snipped it away for me. Yes, I am in my 20s and I still sit on a stool for my mother to cut my hair for me. I can't even begin to tell you how much more I love my fringe again, people. Love, not like. Love.

I finally decided to pick up a good workout because I apparently complain too much but do too little. So I now practice Muay Thai, a form of martial arts that (Surprise, surprise!) originates from Thailand. I'm not exactly good at it but like every other thing out there, Muay Thai takes practice. So give me time and maybe someday I could whoop you good. Just maybe.


Or the lack thereof. I've still yet to talk about the company trip I got to join in May, so maybe if I ever would sit down for several hours to pick out some pictures for a good blog post, then you'll know all about it. But just so you know, my travel bag has not seen daylight since. I need a vacation really soon.


What a depressing way to end this post but it's probably the most predictable thing too. Perhaps just as last year, there isn't anything grand for me to speak of but I don't dislike it either. The feeling is neutral and I'm enjoying myself every day a little more. Sure, I grumble about it  to my friends and family about the daily muses I go through but it's just all in a day's work. Maybe this is what growing up is about and just maybe, it's something I must learn about too.

Until September beckons and more interesting things pop up in life, good night.