Movie Review: G.I Joe Retaliation

By Elie - 6:30 AM

This has been scheduled due to Isabel's request to only put up a review in the weekends.

My confession moment is that I have never watched any of the movies of the G.I Joe series and in all honesty I wasn't exactly looking forward to this one either. I mean, if you've never seen something that is supposedly of the same franchise, how could you possibly like the sequel, much less be excited over it right? Thanks to Nuffnang, I had my chance to catch it on the big 3D at the Nuffnang Premiere Screening of G.I Joe Retaliation! So much joy!

Big guns and big men along with a side dish of a hunky Korean eye candy. Sounds decent enough.
Photo credits to: Movie distributor. Stolen off my work folder.

G.I Joe Retaliation starts off with a simple storyline, probably with a dash of the past which I am totally unaware of but you would catch up quickly because there isn't a huge connection to the predecessors. All that has happened is that the president of the United States (Why are there so many movies involving the presidents nowadays? I mean, hello last week I was just reviewing Olympus Has Fallen!) isn't exactly THE president of the United States and the first step into killing off all the G.I Joe(s) was to frame them and fire up the anger of the nation towards who has been entrusted with the duty to protect them all. Obviously, all these testosterone filled elites doesn't just live with being framed to such crimes and they look for points in which to prove that Mr.President isn't actually Mr.President. Are you following me here?

Honest review moments: The movie itself gives a good feature on the big guns and the kind of adrenaline pumping action that you would expect from all these men-filled films. There isn't an exact plot to the flick at all and everything is just fast paced yet hits the right points to explain why Mr.President was Mr.President but isn't Mr.President in the end. The graphics were overall impressive and even Wai Kin thinks so. One point that I just didn't get was where could Faye have possibly found that killer red dress with all that amount of make-up...while they were on the run? And the clothes on Roadblock never seems to be torn; even when you see "blood" on him and he's limping all over. Those ninjas were just absolutely NOT ninjas. You don't see ninjas, you fools! Too much 9gag does that to you.

Tough as a rock. The Rock.
Pic credits to:

Dwayne Johnson stars as Marvin F. Hinton or better known as Roadblock; the second in charge after Channing Tatum's character Duke Hauser. There is no doubt that Johnson takes onto this role pretty well especially in line with the original description that Hasbro has given their cartoon character. Built and buff with veins protruding through his skin, Johnson puts on a show that doesn't exactly go off what he normally does and so nothing seems really special anymore. I still much prefer the character he played in The Game Plan because it felt really out of order for his body size and yet he gave a great performance there.

Look at my abs. Just look at it. JUST LOOK AT IT.

Lee Byung-hun plays Storm Shadow; a ninja and a framed soul who has turned to the dark side because they have cookies he has been framed for the murder of his grandmaster. There are such changes to the character of Storm Shadow that I found fairly odd; especially how he could switch between the good and the bad and yet be someone of his own. I do however find that Lee has done a good job in breathing in life to the Storm Shadow character, being cool and composed at all times yet emotional when needed. Maybe it's a Korean thing to have tears clinging to their lashes but he has done a sexy job to it, really.

 I'll take 2 cases of thin mints and a box of Chocolux
Pic credits to:

Bruce Willis plays Joe Colton in G.I Joe Retaliation and is supposed to be the reason why any of these elites calls themselves Joe(s). He doesn't quite make a huge impression to his character here, possibly because he does so much better in his Die Hard franchise compared to G.I Joe Retaliation. I however do still enjoy his sarcasm tone in most of his limited speeches because it just makes for who Bruce Willis is. Mediocre but decent acting if I could just put it that way.

Other notable mentions includes Channing Tatum whom I have no idea why had to be written off in such a sad way. I mean, I was really looking forward to seeing him in the movie and bam his screen time just ends about half an hour into the movie and also Adrianne Palicki as Faye, D.J Cotrona as Flint and Nick Erickson as President Picture Double. On a personal scale, G.I Joe Retaliation hits a good 7 over 10 for the effects and hot action featured. A good watch in the cinemas, but not on 3D. I watched it on 3D and I nearly died halfway. Urgh.

On a side track note: I finally got on an Initial D machine after the longest time ever and noticed...I have no idea how to play with it anymore. Also played Time Crisis with Wai Kin (seeing as that I no longer do registrations for Nuffnang Premiere Screenings, I seem to have lots of time in hand which...I'm not too sure if it's good or bad for now) and I have the most horrible aim ever. This would explain why I couldn't do a good job during the Nuffies Lasertag session. Meh.

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