Life

To Be Yourself Is All That You Can Do

By Elie - 5:58 PM

Now playing: Be Yourself by Audioslave

Tonight, I spoke to a friend who appeared to be down although it would be the death of him just to admit it. For a while, I couldn't figure out what was wrong. Why was he down? Why did he feel as worthless as he did? And then the questions struck.
  
Did I ever look at a person's appearance just to name them my lover? I couldn't embrace the question any quicker...and I answered no in a jiffy. Let's be honest right here as I always do. Right from the start, I've never been the prettiest girl on the block. I don't have the body of the hottest models nor the face of the most amazing woman around. In fact, I had fats laying around my stomach, oil wobbling as I wave goodbye, pores at a large and I'm probably one of the LEAST femininely person around. I do no make up. I wear no skirts. I speak nothing but vulgarity. Who was I to judge someone else when I am a person of such to begin with?

But I smile and get through days anyway.

What did you like in Wai Kin in the first place? This was tough. No, it was never for his looks. It was never for the fact he owned anything. It was just...him being him. Definitely not his looks. I probably just fell for the same Ng Wai Kin I first knew during orientation. And the one who irritated me throughout my trip back to home. That same person...who doesn't change regardless what happens.

If I started out to this...there's no doubt that it wasn't his looks I fell for.

To me, it was just that he was himself. He never changed for me and he didn't need me to change for him. I could still be me and he could still be who he is. But isn't that what relationships are meant to be? The fact that you were with someone who accepts you for who you are and doesn't wish that you'd become someone THEY want you to be?

It took me a while to figure out what to question my friend. What was wrong with being natural? What's the crime in being someone I know I can be? Why couldn't you just be yourself? It was weird how his reply seemed simple and had probably been in mind for a while now. "The world is fake." What's in my friend's mind as he speaks these words? Was the society that horrible? Was it the fact of things he heard or people he's seen? What could have pushed his confidence so far down anyway?

There is no privacy that cannot be penetrated,
No secret can be kept in the civilized world,
Society is a masked ball where everyone hides his real character,
And reveals it by hiding.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

Sometimes we live in a world so cruel, we often think it's wrong just to be ourselves. Sometimes we spend time around people who care nothing for our feelings, we neglect how we truly want to feel. Why do we fish for compliments? Why do we seek acceptance? Was it that bad just to be who we really are? Was it that horrible that we became a person we were most confident in being? Was it too bad to have a feeling that we were never good enough? Sometimes, what's really enough in this world? Was it to be yourself? Was it to be someone that others think you should be? Was it just enough to be a person with a pretty face but a personality of the devil?

What even constituted you as a person who is at fault? Who even told you that you were ugly? What even made you think that you were never good enough? All you need is a bit of faith, to believe, to be honest to yourself...and you belong. You are who you are and that's enough. You don't need anything else to know it. You don't need anyone else to tell you so. If you're well for yourself, you're well enough for everyone.  Go ahead and put on a mask. But only when you tear it off will you be the person you really are.

And then I seek once more...who am I?

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