Movie Review: The Last Stand

By Elie - 3:21 PM

"That makes 4 of us. Happy?"

That's right. I may be having my internship with Netccentric Pte Ltd under the Nuffnang department but I've still gotten the time to head for some fun! Plus, it was Wai Kin's birthday yesterday and I thought we really should have just taken some time for us to do some "couple-ish" stuff like watch a movie and walk around.

 SPECIAL SCREENING. I feel so...special.

Luckily for me, Nuffnang had an amazing premiere screening for the movie "The Last Stand" by Arnold Susah-Nak-Eja Schwarzenegger and Johnny Knoxville. Or at least that's what the poster of the movie said.

Big guns, Arnold and a catchy tagline. The movie sounded promising.
Picture sourced from

Unfortunately, no. There was so little Johnny Knoxville that the main actors might as well just had been Arnold and Forest Whitaker as Agent John Bannister or Eduordo Noriega as Gabriel Cortez. In fact, I think a picture of Arnold and Erduodo (Heck that's a pretty sexy name, no?) on the bridge as the movie poster might have been nice too. Just to recap on the movie, Arnold plays a Sheriff Ray Owens in a small little town called Sommerton Junction after retiring from his 5 years in the LA Narcotics Bureau. Following that, a task for the FBI led by Agent John Bannister (Whitaker) to transport a big time drug kingpin, Gabriel Cortez (Noriega) from his cell to death row goes horribly wrong as Cortez heads off in a monster with over 1,000 horse power. His plan was simple: to escape the US and get into Mexico...via Sommerton Junction. After that it's really all just guns, blood, profanities and a pretty car.

Just as any other action movie you could expect, blood is absolute but I'm really shocked that this film was allowed so much of blood AND profanities with absolutely zero censorship. With an immense amount of humor hastily added into the movie, it's quite a no-brainer and you could really just have figured out the ending on your own anyway and there were several loopholes that you just cannot help but to notice. Then again, it could just be a movie for you to laugh yourself silly especially with Arnold admitting that his age has finally caught up; among other jokes that had the whole cinema cracking. I have to say though, the touch with the unexpected gun by Johnny Knoxville was smart and had to be quite the highlight for the show.

Shut up and take all my bullets!
Picture credits to

Acting wise, Arnold is simply Arnold; with his big muscles and choppy lines. I'm not sure when I began to notice this but he has this really thick accent, presumably Austrian and speaks each word one by one, sounding much like a robot. Is he stuck in his Terminator mode? Forest Whitaker makes quite a decent FBI agent with believable body language but I couldn't stop staring at his lopsided eyes! As for Erduodo Noriega of whom I have never seen, he sure had a sexy voice but this guy is a horrible actor. Of course, that could just be me but really I am not a fan of his monotone acting. He wasn't a convincing drug lord to begin with so I guess that just tells you a lot. Other mentionable acts would obviously include Johnny Knoxville as Lewis Dinkum and Luis Guzman as Mike Figuerola but that's really just it. Other acts were not even close to mediocre but to me were just sad characters written by nobody for nobody.

As a whole, The Last Stand does come out as a light weight comedy with a slap of action in it and could be a great watch if you're looking for just that much of blood with a bucketful of laughs. A very important note would be to remind all parents that The Last Stand is definitely NOT  a child friendly movie with profanities getting spit out every 3 lines or so and the bloody moments may have gotten overboard. *Coughs* Headshot *Coughs* To cap it off, it does serve as a cool movie just for kicks if you've got nothing else on your list that you want to watch but otherwise, it's probably not the exact movie you would want to go to the cinema for. 

Oh and thank you very much for the premiere SPECIAL screening tickets, Nuffnang. Loving you long time. Wai Kin and I had a whole bunch of laughs to go home with. At least we spent his birthday together. :)

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