If there's a chance, I wanna marry you

Hmmm...so maybe I'm not too serious about my title, but as I type this, I'm seated in the gallery of my college and watching the performances by the students of my college and this event is called PARTS Plugged. So what happened, is that there's this guy called Titus (did I spell it right?) who has just been up and the title of my post is the chorus to the song. I think.

Well anyway...as romantic as the title sounds, my post is completely unromantic. In fact, some may say that it's quite emotional for one who has just been through one of the best days of her life. Well, the day may not have ended but the good news just keeps coming along so I suppose I could say that it is a great day. And someone's playing later at around 8pm in the middle of the floor...talk about sexy! However, there's a huge crowd here and I suppose he is quite nervous to a point where he does look a little sad. Somehow it makes me a little sad too. Urgh.

So here's a question to everyone who's reading this. Has anyone ever tried to be surrounded by a sea of people and yet still feel like he or she are all alone? That empty feeling like you know nobody and that you're just on your own? Or that subtle sound that the only voice you hear is yours? That silly glare around the room to notice that nobody has eyes fixed on you and that feeling that there isn't anyone around. Nobody's watching, nobody's speaking and nobody cares. Truth is, I realize that I no longer am who I used to be.

Back in those days, I'd socialize with everyone. I'd speak to every stranger and shake the hands of everyone I didn't know. Yet somehow those days are so way past behind me. Somehow that just isn't who I am anymore. Somehow I just prefer to be alone. Somehow the comfort of having no one around me has settled in and I seriously love it better when I could hole up somewhere and seek for my very sanctuary. On the other hand, I really am afraid to be alone. Feel free to call me a hypocrite, feel free to say I'm contradicting to my own words and that I'm unsure of my feelings because I won't be offended. I won't even care what others have to say. This is my life. These are the words of my heart. These are the facts of my mind.

P/S: To that special person, (although you don't ever come along to read my blog...I KNOW YOU TOO WELL!) "if there's a chance, I want to marry you". :)

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