So Much

By Elie - 9:35 AM

There's so much I actually want to say but there's just about *this* much of space I have to rant and go on about how I feel on a day to day basis. I'll admit, I've never been the best in what I've been doing but I do give myself pats on the back for the effort and how much I try to excel in what has come through so far.

First off I'll share that I'm extremely excited to be invited to SkinFood's launch to their newest line without signing up. Does that mean SkinFood now has me on their invitation list to their events? *Jumps in joy* And for those who think that I'm full of bull crap and I'm solely telling you lies:

You may now click on the picture for a bigger view and eat your heart out. Om nom nom nom.

Of course the first thing that I did was reply and say YES I AM COMING but in a far more formal way (because I didn't want to sound like some aunty that came out of Chowrasta Market) (Pun completely intended, especially if my father is reading this and laughing his buttocks off) so now I'm liable to a media and blogger access on that day! Please do sense my excitement although I don't have my words on CAPS LOCK just to make myself *sound* excited.

Asides that, I've just been bloating up. Fat. Oily. Balloon. And I have no one to blame but myself for that. Chocolates, ice cream, butter, cheese, milk, yogurt, fried food I just need to get off my chair and start exercising. Yes, that I need to do. And also to learn HOW to sleep earlier than my usual timing. I feel like an owl. Hoot hoot. Again, I have no one to blame but myself. Or maybe I could blame The Sims 3. I just need to learn.

Let's see...what else? Oh yes. I've just gotten to some reflection moments where I've realized how much it hurt to have heard someone who mattered so much to me express her disappointment in me being holed up in my room too often and that I have failed to be better. I'm not entirely sure how all these came about, but it does feel like a stab of an imaginary dagger straight to my heart the moment I heard those words come about. Plus, she mentioned how it was worthwhile to love me with the one sentence I said. Sometimes, I wonder if I have really ignored them as much as that to be told off this way. Was it my fault that I've been so ignorant or that I've never placed much effort in being the one I should be? 

Funny how I grew up to be someone so insecure of myself. I was always so sure of what I've done, what I've been doing and what I would have been proud to do. But right now...maybe I'm not so sure anymore.

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