Movie Review: The Wolverine

By Elie - 4:24 PM

Eternity can be a curse.

I cannot shit, hence my face all the time!
This is such an unexpected movie for me to watch because number 1, I have never watched anything Marvel besides Ironman (ROBERT DOWNEY JR. HOMAIGAWD) and number 2, I really wasn't interested in watching a hairy man with claws swiping around the big screen. But I did it anyway and I regret nothing!

So first of all live I've just said, I have never watched anything Marvel which means no I have not watched any of the X-Men movies or any other things that has a link to The Wolverine. This also means that I have a tendency to be blur like 90% of the time in the cinema what with the storyline being Logan living in fear, anger and nightmares on a daily basis. I just don't get it. Sure, it does have its own stand alone story here but I think you would need at least a tad bit of knowledge to the series before you truly understand it. BUT please stay for the after credits. STAY even if the cinema you go to turns the lights on. Just STAY.

Hugh Jackman homaikot homaikot homaikot.
Pic credits:

Just a moment while I have a little fangirl time because I have never noticed how absurdly hot Hugh Jackman is.


So anyway, I have no smiley photos of him because this is seriously just his face throughout the whole movie. Forever pained, angry and...constipated. No joke, I actually think he looks super constipated 99% of the time...EVEN when he is supposed to be asleep. Moving on, Hugh Jackman is definitely an icon for Logan just as Robert Downey Jr. is an icon for Tony Stark. Barring the constipated factor, his ripped body size and swift moves really just brings out the gist of the movie, handing you to believe that he IS Logan. Then again, what am I talking about? He IS Logan anyway. And putting everything aside, he's simply an eye candy so what's not to like?

I have red hair and ride big bikes.

Rila Fukushima plays Yukio in The Wolverine and I'm really sorry to have to say this but could they not have cast someone else? I'll keep the rest of the judgmental part to myself and talk about her acting instead. Sure, she tries really hard to sort of "blend" into the Yukio part but I don't think she did well enough. In fact, I think she overdid it so badly that every part that had her in it, I tried very hard not to cringe. 'Nuff said, she's just bad in a nutshell. I'm sorry if you've fallen in love with her because I definitely didn't.

I'll just casually fall in love with you, Logan.

This picture was really REALLY to talk about Tao Okamoto who plays Mariko in the movie but I couldn't find a picture that did her justice to her Japanese-ness so this would have to do. (Lies, I really wanted to just see more of Hugh Jackman!) I have a little feeling that she's pretty new in the industry (Correct me if I'm wrong) because her acts are really raw. Heck, she was fresher than the salmon I had at the buffet before the movies. There's almost no emotions in her everything be it in mourning, angry, sad, happy, lost or just...whatever. 

Honestly though if it were not for Hugh Jackman, the only other selling factor would just be that it's a Marvel adaptation of The Wolverine. In fact, I found Svetlana Khodchenkova (I admit la, I just copied and pasted her name off IMDb because it's so confusing I can't even pronounce it!) who played The Viper to be extremely annoying. I mean, she wasn't pretty, she couldn't act and all she could do was stand and look skinny. And I couldn't stand her ugly hair. I'm sorry for being really judgmental but I've just got to get it out. 

And the final verdict is that the movie stands on a 2.5/5 on my personal scale. I think a whole lot of Marvel fans would just drop me hate comments and call me a bimbo with shit for brains but's still my very own opinion to go down with. I felt like it lacked a depth that it could have had, given they were shooting in Japan after all. Heck, I didn't even FEEL like it was shot in Japan if not for the popular Nagasaki arch and the sliding Japanese doors. And that was just about all the Japan vibe I could feel. Everything else was just "shing, shing and shing". That's the sound of Logan's claws by the way. You get what I mean. But sure, go watch it in the cinemas because Hugh Jackman's sexiness is worthy of your RM 13. And stay after the credits. STAY.

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  1. Interesting perspective from the X-Men n00b, and I mean that in a nice way. My only exposure to X-Men was the cartoon long time ago, so...

    1. I read the movie was mostly shot in Australia, so you're not too far off there.
    2. I read that he actually dehydrated himself for 48 hours (it's on IMDb someplace) for his shirtless scenes to look like that.
    3. There's nothing much AFTER the credits, but it's during the credits. Can't wait to watch that X-Men movie.
    4. Hugh Jackman only got to be Wolverine because another dude (Dougray Scott) couldn't do it. That guy must be kicking himself right now.

    Anyway, I wasn't a fan of this movie either. It was okay, but not enough to watch it again. Glad I didn't pay to watch it the first time either :P

    1. Hello there!

      Hahaha this was typed solely on what I thought so I had no idea if I was getting them right or not. But thanks for clarifying on the shot venue. So it wasn't really Japan to begin with?

      I guess it's somewhat in between credits? Because where I watched it, they turned on the lights and most people left before the "after credits" scene came on. I suppose then some of us would really just call it "after credits".

      I don't think anyone would do a better Logan than Hugh Jackman now hahahaha!

    2. I'm sure some of it must have been shot in Japan lah. Can look up on IMDb one haha..

    3. Hahaha maybe a few like the Tokyo background scenes. But the movie really doesn't give out the Japan feel so... *Shrugs*


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